missing something

Bunksteve · Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 5:17 pm Post subject:

Send Bryce my best... wait... no... don't... I might need my best...

Send him my second-best. That'll do him just fine.

P.S. I know what it feels like to have a complete breakdown. It's no fun. Your pulse races, you can't breathe, you can hardly talk, and all you want is (If you're around people) to just be alone so you can just fuckin' bawl your eyes out or whatever you need to do to release whatever is pent up inside.

Bryce, dude... If Marie can pass this message along... Don't shut us out. We can help you if you give us a chance. That's what friends are for (Dionne Warwick). We love ya' dude. Take care.

Occultus · Joined: 28 Apr 2007 Posts: 56 Location: UK

Konamouse · Joined: 20 Apr 2007 Posts: 142 Location: Las Vegas

Again with the resurrection theme? As in resurrection of the dead in the cave? Or of monsters? Shocked

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Mkaos · Joined: 08 Jan 2007 Posts: 256 Location: San Francisco

I've started this post a dozen times. I just don't know what to say or how much to say. I can't imagine that he'd want his personal hell thrown on the internet for all to see. At the same time, I know how much this all meant to him. So here it is and, Bryce, I hope that some day you understand.

They had told me what hospital they sent him to, so I went there right away. I figured that he'd have things that he'd want me to bring him and a list of things to do for him at home. So that made sense and that's where I went. As soon as I got there and saw him, I realized the officers weren't exaggerating the gravity of the situation. It's really bad.

The doctors, though, are wonderful. We talked for a bit before I saw him, which was really good. They were really pleased to get some information that they didn't have - personality things and the fact that he's a computer programmer with a crappy job and erratic sleep patterns. Bryce hasn't been able to tell them any of that. They warned me that he's not been very responsive and that he hasn't spoken since he got there. We all hoped that seeing me might spark something. Unfortunately, we're not sure that he recognized me or even knew we were in the room. It's that bad.

I offered to bring a few of his things which they thought was great. Since I was planning on staying at his place, I told them that I would return after I settled in. I don't know if they didn't know what had happened there, but they didn't warn me if they knew.

There's no way that I can stay in that place. There's blood and birds everywhere. Some of the birds have had their heads shoved back on but most were just laying there with the head next to the body. I've never seen anything like it and the smell is something that I will never forget.

I couldn't even walk into the kitchen. The living room was better, but not much. His office was the worst. If I hadn't wanted to look for information on his family or find some of his music CDs, I wouldn't have gone in there either. There must have been 20 birds in there alone. Feathers were stuck to everything. The keyboard was still sticky. His monitor was covered with bloody fingerprints. It was just awful. (Dante, I never even thought to take a picture of anything. All that I remember seeing on the whiteboard was /backups/121606 = boil and a big WARN MARIE! - I tried the directory on his computer and on the website but there's nothing there. So I don't know what it was about Sad

)

The thing that I can't understand is why he was doing this. What happened to him that would cause this? He's just sitting there in that room completely empty. I sat with him for a while when I got back, trying to make jokes so that he could tell me they weren't funny. I tried to talk about computers so that he could tell me that I didn't know anything. I tried to talk about how we needed to do something about the spam on the forum so that he could get frustrated that I'm always bugging him to do stuff. Nothing. He's just gone.

I left some of his stuff with the nurse. I don't know if they'll give them to him or not. I'm going to stop by in the morning. I hope he'll be better but I don't think he's going to be. I've never seen anyone like this before. I just hope he gets better. I don't know what's happened to him. Crying or Very sad

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One man gathers what another man spills.

RavenWolf · Joined: 24 Apr 2007 Posts: 143 Location: Pocono Mountains

To say the least I am rather perturbed at what has happened to Bryce and can only wish the best at his full recovery as time goes on... hopefully with the help of people like you he will be able to rediscover who he is and get back his sanity... I'm not quite sure what to think about any of this particularly since I have been very actively involved in the dreamworld and the insanity that seems to be overtaking some of the members in the search for answers... it just worries me that I had been having dreams involving birds as of late and something weird like this happens... And I know I didn't call in those because I thought them irrelevant because as can be evidenced by my SN I have an obvious connection to birds and the like... It just worries me when things like this start happening... And I'm a little worried at this point about calling in any more of my dreams to BA when I start hearing about people having nervous breakdowns and being found covered in blood outside of their apartments... VERY worried... Sounds like I'm going to be wearing my pentagram around a lot more often for protection purposes because this is really starting to worry me a lot...

Rasputin42x69 · Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 1:08 am Post subject:

Ye gods, Marie... When you posted about that call you got after Bryce made that post about doves and Dedi, I feared the scenario that you just described was what happened, and sure enough... Sad

I'll be sending whatever good vibes I can in Bryce's direction. Hopefully he can somehow recover from this.

We seemed to have found what he wrote about on his whiteboard on Stu's website. I'll be scouring through it along with the others, maybe we can find a clue as to what caused this. Maybe also get a clue as to what he wanted to warn you about, that part kinda creeps me out.

I'll be employing a few forms of protection for myself while I'm doing so. Just in case.
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Jjason · Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 424 Location: Portland, OR

Man. I didn't expect it to be that bad. Best of lucky MKaos.

WolfHawk · Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 6:11 pm Post subject:

Wait a minute.

The police didn't seem to know the condition of the apartment???!!! That is the first place police look when someone is found in the shape Bryce was. They would cordon it off and treat is like a crime scene. No way anyone would be allowed in or out much less be able to use the "sticky keyboard" on the computer! Especially with all the blood in the apartment and on him! It would all have to be identified etc. Unless Marie wasn't notified for several days after he was found and even then, police procedure takes a lot of time in a situation like this.
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Mkaos · Joined: 08 Jan 2007 Posts: 256 Location: San Francisco

Of course the police knew the condition of the apartment, they'd been there. That's how they knew to find me Confused

They had 12 hours or so to do their thing before I got there. I guess they figured they had enough because they didn't even mind that I called a trauma cleaning service in this afternoon. Of course I had to wait for animal control to come first because the cleaning service wouldn't come in before the carcasses were removed Rolling Eyes

I guess that was ok, though, it gave me the time to go and visit Bryce. I don't know if he realized I was there, but maybe it helped. I took him a few more of his things. Silly things, really, but I know how much better I feel when I have my own pillow to sleep with. Hopefully, the doctors will let him have them. I don't know when he'll be able to go back home. Crying or Very sad

Tomorrow I'll clean out his fridge, unplug everything, and basically prepare the place like you would for a vacation. Does anyone know if I'll be able to have the post office hold his mail or would that require his signature?
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One man gathers what another man spills.

Lovek · Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 252 Location: Kansas City

Sapagoo · Joined: 20 Apr 2007 Posts: 207 Location: Atlanta, GA

I made a Get well card in the wiki, and also placed one in the MUD. Feel free to sign either/both get well cards. The one in the MUD is on the corner, half way to the fence.

Greywolf · Joined: 26 Apr 2007 Posts: 6 Location: NFM, Florida

Econjen · Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 8:15 pm Post subject:

I was really hoping to come back and find that Bryce is okay. Or that it was a dream or something Confused

I wasn't really prepared for this. To come back and find everything still the same. I can't imagine what walking into Bryce's place must have been like - You're so much braver than I am, Marie. I am in awe of your strength once again Smile

I went out yesterday and walked. Walked all over the city, trying to find something to distract me. You'd think I would have found something, but I walked for five hours and came up with nothing. Dehydrated, tired, sunburned nose, blistered feet, and no closer to finding peace with this. The city was a cold stranger yesterday, despite the numbers of people celebrating, the smells of grilling wafting from tiny walkout porches, and the blooming sunshine.

And it stunk. All I could think of was Bryce.

All I had to do was picture Marie standing in the middle of that room, surrounded by carnage and I would shiver. I was cold a lot. I haven't been that cold since ... well. Since. I didn't sleep easy then, either.

Thanks for making the wikicard for Bryce, Sapagoo. It's really sweet of you, and I know he'd appreciate it.

Now, since I can't think of anything better to do, maybe we should Bryce it up a bit and try to get to the bottom this server thing. And figure out what to do about this B.A. person, because she's really creeping me out now. Confused

I'm afraid of falling asleep and seeing her there. Whatever she is.
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Mkaos · Joined: 08 Jan 2007 Posts: 256 Location: San Francisco

So, I'm home.

Jen, I don't know if it's strength or denial. It's hard to say. Really, the shock of it all made that pretty easy to do. It was just so awful that you can't really grasp what you're dealing with. So, you make lists and check things off and before you know it almost three days have gone by.

Greywolf & Lovek, thanks so much for the information about the post office. Maybe this will all be behind us in 30 days and it won't be an issue. I don't know if that will be the case, there hasn't really been much change. Sad

Though he did eat something today, so that's good, right?

Sapagoo! Thank you for that gesture! Here's an idea... at the end of the week, I'll print that wiki page and send it down to Bryce. We should keep it up, of course, so that when he gets back, he can see it. But it would be nice for him to see or hear this stuff before then. Smile

Now I'm going to pick up and do laundry and water my plants and do all those things that I was going to do Sunday afternoon and maybe when that's done I'll try to get some sleep.

Thanks again for all the good thoughts sent his way. He might not have been able to show that he understood me when I was telling him just how much people cared and were concerned, but I know that those thoughts had to get to him somewhere inside. They just had to.
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One man gathers what another man spills.